Caledonia Way, 2023
A cycle tour journal, Inverness to Glasgow
Panniers packed with the sleeping bits on the left, consumables on the right. Back on the road, off I roll. Heard some clicking from the back wheel, stopped to inspect. It was the mudguard, rubbing on the tyre. I bent it back in one direction, and the clicking stopped. I saw the first signpost, with the 78 Caledonian Way. Headed south west. I was soon on a cycle path, alongside the main road. Then it turned left into a traffic-free cycle path. The air was pure, the fields were gold. Don’t fall into that ditch, keep your eyes on the road, no matter how the landscape to the right looks like. I filmed a short film with my phone. The Loch Ness appeared on the right. I cycled with the sun in my face, water to my right, trees above my head. I spotted a spot for a break but there were too many cars and caravans. A bit later, I spotted another spot, an opening in the trees that may have lead down to the water. But I was busy thinking, I missed it. No backwards energy, no turning around, find the next one. The next one was moments later. I parked the bike, locked it up, just in case, took a brunch bar and a banana. Found a beautiful spot on the loch beach. Here I was. Happy. I ate the banana, and ate some peanuts. I then had a cigarette. And took some photos. I will keep my necklace out for selfies. It was a brief stop, I wanted to get back on the road. My legs were gagging for it. On the way back to the bike, I saw some picnic benches. I thought for a moment, do I want lunch now? I should, it was around 13.00. But I decided not, because I thought someone might come along and take away the solitary space. I got back in the bike. Continued on the 78. Beautiful trees. Waved to come cyclists coming up from the other direction. Some cars were passing by. There were some hills to climb, they got quite steep, a good start. At the top of one hill, after some heavy panting, I drank some water. I saw a lush patch of trees and grass. I locked up the bike just in case, and went through a half opened gate to look. Wonderful spot, a good spot to camp in fact, but too early, it wasn’t yet 15.00. I scouted around. Took in some views, took a selfie. The red moss was gorgeous. I couldn’t fully relax with my bike out of sight, that just the way it will always be. Back in the bike. Down some hills, up some hills. The sun light was glimmering on the wet road in front of me. Up ahead, I saw the silhouette of a deer, it was looking at me, I managed to get a photo, but didn’t turn out very well. I carried on cycling, up the hills, down the hills. There was a little shop on the left, but I didn’t need to buy anything. Out onto another section. Should I be filming more? I thought. So I got out my little action camera, with the hand attachment. It was on the other way around, so I began with a selfie video. Trying it out. Why am I so uncomfortable with selfie videos? ‘Peace out’. What has youtube done to me? I turned the camera around, to face forward. Some sheep went Baaaa. A van passed, a car passed. I got to a part where I recognised the road from google maps. It was a long, steady climb, not the short steep climb I thought it was from the trip planning. I took a short water break. It was spitting rain. I continued. There was a magnificant view of the hills up ahead, dramatic light, and dramatic clouds. I filmed a short video. There was a steep climb coming up, I think that must have been the one I saw on the elevation profile. At the top, some cyclists were already there, on the other side of the road, taking photos. I did not stop with them, I stopped just a little further ahead. I took some photos. I went down the hill, the road was wet, the scenery was increadible. I stopped halfway down, to put back on the hand-camera. There was a car stopped ahead, ruining my view. Go away, car, fuck off, car. I was careful with the hand-camera. I would only point it up and forward when it was safe to do so. It was easy to quickly put my hand (and camera) back onto the handlebars. At the bottom of the hill, it was lovely water, with some islands, and the sunshine made the colours red and green and burnt orange. I filmed some more with the hand-camera. It was hard to take it all in. Was my focus of the landscape taken away with the eye of the camera? The next part was more green. A cattle grid, I think, maybe a few. Up a hill, and down. The road was still wet from rain, I must have just missed the downpour. One of the roads were hugged by beautiful trees, which made a green tunnel. Later, I came to a hilltop and started thinking about if it was time to camp. Maybe a bit too early. But this spot, through this gate, that lead to a hilltop, with trees, must have a good view. The only time I ever turned back, and went slightly back up a hill, was to think about this spot. Too early, I thought. Crack on, bomb down this hill. Soon came to Fort Augustus. There was a line up of cars, waiting patiently, in the direction I was going. I checked the map, and veered off to the left, away from the cars. I stopped outside a police station, and saw a cut I could take, past the traffic. I came to a lock, and walked my bike over it. There were people carrying a canoe, I cut across them. Then noticed a bench, and thought about having a cigarette. I decided not to. I carried on onto a canal gravel path. It was calm and tranquil. I passed an old lady with a walking stick. I came to a nice bench shortly after, and wondered again about a cigarette break. I thought, maybe the woman with the walking stick might want to take this bench, so I went on a little further. I found another bench, and had myself a cigarette. The day felt it was getting late, it was 5. Soon time to find camp, from 6. After some time on the canal path, I checked the route. Then apprached another lock. The path was closed off, to forestry works. Bummer. I thought, could I go anyway? I looked again at the sign, and it said I would have to turn back at a point. Unfortunately, that’s where I thought I would be camping. On google maps, there was a lovely wild camping spot. On the other side, there was another spot, reviewed by one motorcyclist. He wrote that it wasn’t secluded, but the A-road was fairly quiet at night. Option 1 I suppose. I went on the diverted route, on the A-road. It wasn’t great, lots of cars passing by very fast. Including some huge trucks. I passed the motorcyclists’ camp spot, there was a car parked there, so I cycled straight past it. The road was very wet, I must’ve just missed another downpour. I was getting tired. I was very hungry. My energy level was depleting. I was annoyed at the diversion. I got to another part, off the A-road, but onto a footpath, where people were walking. I was looking for a camping spot. But everything seemed soggy, not flat, along the canal, probably with many midges. I carried on. My wheels picked up wet leaves and other things from the footpath. I stopped and picked up a twig to get rid of the leaves stuck between the tyre and the mudguards. I got some more energy, my body realised I needed it. I got to another lock which I needed to cross, but was approached by a hiker, he asked if there were any camping spots around here. I said I was looking for one too, but the diversion cut off a nice campsite. He had a book with him, and pointed out that there should be a site near here. It was, it was right in front of us. Great, I camp here tonight! The hikers name was Dean, we shook hands and were glad to have a camping buddy for the night. We scouted around, and set up our tents. I was very hungry, and tired, I was almost shaking. And my back was hurting. He offered my a cigarette, pre-rolled, without a filter. I accepted, and we smoked. I gave him my extra beer. I was still very hungry, I needed to eat. I ate some cheese and sausage. Then we cooked our dinners together. I was too tired for a proper conversation, but after some kippers in a can and pasta n’ sauce for dinner, I felt much better. The beer was also good. After food, me and Dean went for a little walk across the lock. It was dark, we had our torches. We got back to our tents, and I said I had to hit the hay, and lay down. I was happy to get into my sleeping bag, to rest, and sleep. I slept for a bit, then woke up. Then went back to sleep. The ground was hard, I thought a sleeping mat would be good in this situation. I woke up again, and went for a piss. The lights of the lock were shining bright in my direction. I felt safe. I went back to the tent, and back to sleep. The early morning is when I slept best. I heard Dean say ‘good morning Laurence’, I was half asleep, and it took me about 4 seconds to reply. I didn’t feel like waking up just yet. When I got out of my tent, it was a bit colder than I thought. Dean was over by the coffee kiosk. He offered me a coffee and a bacon bap. We chatted with the kiosk lady, and I played with her dog (Loch---). The pooch was a big orange thing, but only a year old, a big pup. He was very lovely and playful, I gave him a good patting. I don’t think Elin would have liked him; too big, perhaps too ugly. I chatted with Dean for a bit, about London, maps, delivery, taxis, economy, buildings, social housing, and films. I smoked a few cigarettes with the cappuccino. I used the toilet. Then got started packing down my tent. One more cig, and farewell to Dean. We took a selfie and parted ways. I crossed the lock and headed up on the 78, a gravel/footpath for the next few miles. I passed many hikers, all with smiles and hello’s. The path overlooked the loch, and I could see rows of trees on the mountain. I saw some sheep. The gravel path turned into smooth paved road, and then onto another gravel path alongside the canal. I saw other bicycle tourists, and other folk by the canals. I found a good picnic bench, and sat down for lunch. I made a cheese, saucison, and crisp sandwich. Some nuts, and a banana. Cigi as well. I texted Elin with the lunch spot photo. I carried on down the canal path. It lead into Fort William, where the built up area began. It was grey weather. Grey weather is lovely in the landscape, but nasty when matched with suburbia. Suburbia terrifies me. Plastic toys in the front garden, with a trampoline, and two cars in the driveway. I don’t think these residents are unhappy, they must love many aspects of this place, but for me, I fear the place. I cycled through quickly. I got to the ferry deck, checked the timetable, and waited for the next crossing. It began to rain, but not heavily. I smoked a few cigarettes. Then got on the small ferry. I took my panniers off the bike, and the ferryman strapped my bike to the side of the boat. I sat in the boat. I felt very self aware. Why did I feel that? The ferry was under fifteen minutes. I got off, put the panniers back on, and off I rode. It was now beginning to rain. The route was lovely smooth road, with passing places. It was mostly under trees, so I didn’t get too wet from the rain. It was around 5pm, I was looking for a camping spot. After just a mile or so, I found a little path that went down to the water, there was a brick wall, and a perfect spot to pitch up. It was behind a big rock, hidden from the road. There was some firepits there; people have camped here before. Although it was raining, and the spot was perfect, I spent about 10 minutes checking google satellite maps to see if there would be another spot further up ahead. It was a daft thing to do, this spot was dream like. I sprung into action, and pitched up in the rain. I gathered all I needed from my panniers and got into my tent. It was ultra cosy. I smiled. I lay down on my stomach and watched the rain from the tent. It was really raining now, and I was warm and dry. I got my bottle of whiskey, and smoked some cigarettes. It was time for dinner, after 6. I put the stove on, and cooked the noodles. I added sardines. It was delicious. I couldn’t have been any cosier. The rain calmed down a bit. I was a little tipsy, and I played some music from my phone. I put on Massive Attack, and it became the album of my trip. I sang along to the songs. It was then time to sleep. Luckily, before bed, I checked my pegs, and found a rock to mallet them down a little further. I went to sleep. I woke up later, the night was very, very windy. I could hear the leaves in the trees trying to fly. My tent was wooshing and flapping, but it stayed put. It was very exciting. I was not worried about my tent flying away, because everything was clipped in and pegged down correctly. The sound of the wind... I think I woke up again later in the night, when the wind calmed down. The best sleep happened in the early morning, between 6-9am. I woke up, looked out of my tent, first thing first, went for a dump. I was thinking about that gale wind last night. It was still raining a wee bit, so I stayed in my tent with the door open. When it stopped, I went down to the beach and cleaned out my pot. I used seaweed as a sponge, it worked pretty well. I could see some men working on the salmon fishing floats. I got back to the tent and I put on the stove and made a coffee with a cappucino sachet. And of course a cigarette to accompany. I also boiled hot water to add to a porridge pot for breakfast. Afterwards I walked down to the beach and sat on a large brick, and looked out at the mountains on the other side of the loch. The sunshine coming through the clouds was spectacular. So calm. I could spend all day here, but I also like to get moving. I had another cigarette on the beach, and filmed myself too. I then started packing down camp. I put consumables in my panniers, bagged up any trash, packed the sleeping bag and bits, and then folded the tent. Loaded up the bike, and took some more photos of the wonderful camp spot. I think I had one more cigarette before setting off. Back to the road. A lovely, single-track road with passing places. The green was glowing. The trees were gold. The road was smooth. I filmed the trees and the road. I was also looking at other camping spots, if I had searched longer last night. Foolish, my camp was perfect. A bit later on, I came out onto a gorgeous coastal, marshy inlet. I could see little islands off the coast, and the mountains to my right. Across the water, I noticed a line of cars. I wondered what they were queuing for. Was the ferry not operating? Were they turning back? I soon saw a herd of cows in front, ha, they must be moving cattle down the road. As I got over there, a few cars were waiting on my end. I slowed down before a morrisons van. The farmer was closing a gate to my left, he said to me: ‘We’re just moving some cattle up the road, if you wouldn’t mind waiting here for 5 minutes’. I replied: ‘Of course, no problem at all.’ With a smile. I set my bike to the side of the road with the kickstand. I looked around and took in some scenery. Then the cows were approaching, I thought it was rather funny. I filmed them walking up the road. They were mooing. After they passed, I let the cars go by and then I got on my bike and continued on the road. I came to view the loch and it was spectacular. I soon got to the ferry ramp, I asked the guy in orange when the next ferry was. 15 mins. Lovely, time for a little cigarette. As I waited for the ferry, I got chatting with a man, we talked about the beautiful scenery, I asked if he lived around here, no, he was from Seattle. I didn’t hear his accent. He asked if the roads were safe for cycling, I said oh yes, very much, the cars have been very considerate when overtaking. Have a good trip, we said to each other, and off I went down the ramp onto the little ferry. There was a woman passenger also crossing. She was chatting with the ferrymen. I did not speak, but smiled. Until one man said ‘Time for McDonalds.’ I asked, ‘Where is McDonald’s around here?’ A chuckle. ‘Oh, Fort William.’ He said. We ferried over to the other side. How much I owe ya? I asked. ‘Oh, it’s free’ said the ferryman. He pulled my bike off and set it down on the ramp, I put the panniers back on. A fighter jet then flew over us, what a sound it made, and it was flying incredibly fast. Wow, I thought. I walked my bike up the ramp. I put some trash in the bit. I thought I should fill up my water bottle, but I couldn’t find a tap anywhere. I hopped on my saddle and cycled off. There was a very steep footpath, I walked the bike up. The route then followed on the side of some A-road for a while. Not the most pleasant cycle path, but I blasted through, crossed a windy bridge, and onto the other side. Eventually turned over back onto a nice caledonia quiet cycle path. My water was empty, I should find a tap to fill up. I carried on cycling. There were signs of a cafe coming up a few miles ahead, maybe I’ll stop there. When I got there, it was more like a hotel seafood restaurant than a cafe, so I went past. I saw a splashy waterfall and I tried filling my water bottle, but it was too splashy, not the ideal place to fill up. The cycle path went on, and veered away from the roads. I found a bench with a view, off the side of the cycle path, and stopped for lunch spot. I made another cheese, saucisson and crisp sandwich. I took photos of the view, and sent to Elin. I also sent a video of the cows to Chris. Chris replied: ‘Moorrisons’. Of course. I then sent this to Joe, Mum and Phoebe, and also uploaded to youtube. The view from this lunch spot bench was picture perfect. I started getting a little cold so it was time to move on. Back in the saddle, back along the cycle path. I went through lush green forests, opening out onto some ponds with benches, many more great lunch spots. The path was smooth. I still had hardly any water, so I needed to find a tap. And holla, I found one. On the side of a little farmhouse. So I filled up my water bottles. Although this is a perfectly fine thing to do, because of years of what the city has made my mind into, I was thinking if someone would see me from their window, come out of the house, and tell me to stop stealing their water. That would never happen. Telling a cyclist off for filling up water? Ridiculous. But that’s what London done to me. There is very little welfare in the atmosphere. At least where I go... I felt silly for thinking that. But anyway. I got my water. Good water. I carried on cycling and thinking. Pure traffic free cycle paths for many many miles. And the sun was shining. This was an excellent part of the route. I passed a cycling couple. I also stopped to pick some blackberries. Lovely to eat something fresh. The weather very suddenly went from sunny to rainy. I decided to stop under a tree and wait for it to pass. It wasn’t the best spot, but, not every spot can be perfect. I smoked a cigarette and looked at my map. After the rain, I crossed the road and, ha, there was a bench, under trees, with a lovely view. If only I had went on a little further, my waiting for the rain spot would have been far superior. After some miles, I knew I was approaching some built up area. I tried to speed down the road bit, not the most exciting part. But it wasn’t too bad. I passed a very small airport. Then passed some depressing suburbia. But then very quickly out into the hills again. Fields, sheep, nice road, and mountains in distance. I was approaching Oban, if I wanted to go there I’d have to turn right. But I didn’t want to go to Oban. I continued on through the fields and the valleys. I would be finding a camp spot in this part. So I put my eyes on, looking for a good camp. I passed a huge bull in the field, I did not want to camp near him. I passed some more cows with horns who were walking on the road. I saw some good spots, but couldn’t tell if the grass was too marshy. I saw a spot over by some trees, I went to check it out, but I thought I could find better. Not long after, I approached a little ridge off the road. I walked up it, and found a lovely bit of flat grass ground. Perfect. I skipped back down to the road, and had a moment to think if this was the best spot... yes. I pushed my bike up the little hill and set my bike down leaning on the grassy rock. I was still slightly visible from the road, and I wanted to be a bit more hidden. A car was coming from the west, it was a porsche 4x4. I was a little annoyed that a car saw me, because I like to be stealthy. Even though wild camping is totally legal in Scotland, I still have these voices from the city authorities in my head. ‘You can’t camp here, lad’ or ‘Excuse me sir this is private property, you can’t camp here.’ Or, ‘Oi, this is my farm!’ And then I also had small thoughts on if the car would come and terrorize me in the night time. Come on, someone driving a porsche would not have the time to come out and do that to a camping cycle tourist in the night. Sometimes, my imaginations and paranoias are right damn stupid. I was setting up my camp as I was thinking about this. I was deciding on which way I’d like my tent door to be facing. West I think, from the way I came, and where the sun was setting. I was tucked between a stone wall and a grassy rock, just above the road on a small hill. I removed a few slugs from my flat grass area. I gathered all the bits from my panniers. Food and clothes and gear. Chucked the sleeping bag in the tent. Got the stove ready. Then settled down for some whiskey and a cigarette. It was a beautiful evening, very peaceful and calm. There was only one sound - a low humming of some communication device that I passed. A low humming was ok with me. I got the stove on and cooked my dinner. I cooked a tomato-y lentil pouch thing and topped it with sardines. Yummy. It was hot and delicious. I smoked a cigarette after dinner. The evening was getting darker, it was beautiful, blue, green, quiet. Trees were either waking up or going to sleep. Mountains too. I’m not sure when their sleep cycle is. But I felt very safe and comfortable surrounded by them. It was about time for sleeping. The night was quiet. I woke up in the middle of the night. I lay awake for about an hour or two. I was cosy and warm. The pillow situation could have been nicer. I had a good night sleep and woke up fully in the morning around 8/9. I heard some cyclists go by. One of them said ‘wild camping’. I looked out of my tent, weather was lovely. First thing I needed was to take a dump. I didn’t want someone to go by just at the bad timing. I scouted around over the little brick wall and in some grasses. Plenty of spots, but could someone see me? Also, didn’t want to shit too close to camp. I went up the hill a little further, and in between tall grass. Boom. Felt so much better. I used grass to wipe my arse, then covered the poo with more grass. Thanks grass. That shitting was good timing - a minute later, several cycle tourists rode past, waving and smiling. Back to tent to make coffee and smoke a cigi. I boiled water and made a porridge for breakfast. Yummy. Meditated my 20mins. I could feel ghost slugs. I opened my eyes very slowly and let my irises adjust to the sunlight. I packed up everything up, then had one more cigi. Rolled my bike down the little grassy hill, and got onto the road. Pumped my tyres. Off I go again. Gorgeous greens and greys. I can’t remember what I was thinking about, but it was pleasure thoughts. Later on, I came down a hill, all the way down a long winding hill. At the bottom, I quaint little pub. I cycled past at first, thinking it would be closed, for some reason, but stopped and turned back. I parked my bike outside, walked in and asked if I could fill up my water bottles. The pub owner was happy to fill up my bottles. I walked outside. Then walked back inside. ‘Are you open for lunch?’ I asked. ‘Yes’, she answered. ‘I’ll bring a menu’. So I sat outside on the bench and immediately chose a burger and a pint of lager. Very happy. Smoked a cigi and looked at my maps. The beer came first. How wonderful. The pub waitress asked me where I was from, my accent was not of these parts. I said south/London. She said she lived in London for a while, and she misses it. I asked where she was from. Brazil she said. We talked about London, missing it and not missing it. She was very sweet. The burger came shortly after. Oh how delicious. Filled me right up and good. I let my food go down, smoked a cig, looked at the map some more. I went inside to pay, and went to the toilet. Wiped my arse properly. On my way back to my bike, another cycle tourist was parking up, probably about to get a burger and beer like I did. We had a small chat. I got back on my bike and hit the road.